As a graphic designer, I pick-up side jobs here and there. I actually acquired my current position at Meetings Northwest this way, so I am a great example of how doing side jobs can open up wonderful opportunities. However, sometimes you also have to say “no thank-you” or so I had been told. Saying no is not my strong suit (unless it is it to my twins – then it seems to fly out of my mouth on a regular basis), but when it comes to work or personal requests my automatic response is yes now and figure it out later. It isn’t all because of my absurd need to please, I do really like the challenge of doing new work for different types of people and industries, and honestly, I like adding to my bank account for unexpected expenses (a doctors visit when we haven’t met our insurance deductible) or for something fun (the new bed I just purchased – YAY!, finally a grown-up real bed…. okay it doesn’t arrive until September, but hey it is coming!). Plus, I HATE SAYING NO. I feel as though it shuts doors or lets people down or I don’t know, a failure on my part somehow. But I did it. It wasn’t big and glorious, but it was kind of big for me. So, how did I say no?
I assessed my priorities
How did I get to this position of saying no? It started with receiving an email and then a phone call from a colleague on a Thursday. It wasn’t a big job, but a quick turnaround was needed. This person is someone I care about, believe in, and want to help, which in part is what made it hard to get the nerve up to say no. I had a huge conversation in my head. I weighed my time, my priorities and what little was left of my sanity. Here is how my personal conversation went:
Do I have time? Do I have the capacity to do it? Will this better my portfolio? Will this end a working relationship? How much will I make off this project? Big questions for a small project, right?!?! Which is why I really had to weigh my answers.
Do I have time? I had other large work projects that had priority, but this project was small and shouldn’t take long. Here is the kicker: It was Father’s Day weekend and I needed to prioritize my family before work (an on-going fight in my head). But a little extra money could help cover the gift I just bought for Father’s Day, right?!?!
Do I have the capacity? I had been working a lot of hours and had been going in a lot of directions. Extended family had been living with us for a few weeks, work was busy for both my husband and me, and my twins are three (which is a job in itself).
Will this better my portfolio? Eh, maybe and maybe not. Being a small job, it wasn’t likely to enhance it much.
Will this end a working relationship? This one is big for me. I hope not, but I trust that even if she doesn’t want to work with me again, she won’t badmouth me for turning this job down.
How much money was I going to make? Not a lot, but that isn’t always the point of side work is it?
In the end, it really came down to timing for me and I had to say no.
I said no!
Well, I thought about taking the squeamish way out and posting an email. NEVER DO THIS! Be kind and bold and make a phone call if you can’t say it face to face. I would like to say I was bold, but I got her voicemail. I was honest and straight forward in my one-sided babble. I gave her the logistics and wished her well. I then jumped on email and re-iterated my one-sided phone message. I wanted to give her time to find someone else (which is why I felt bad already because she had such a short amount of time). I almost waivered, but I didn’t – I couldn’t.
Have I evolved?
Have I evolved? Or was this a one-time thing? This was really hard for me. Did I feel good about saying no? Yes and No. I felt good about prioritizing time with my family and taking a break from work for the weekend, which I hadn’t been doing for quite some time. I felt bad because I wish I could have done the project for my colleague. Like I said, I felt she was in a lurch and I hated leaving her that way. Will I say no in the future? I think so, I have to. Life is about priorities and I better start figuring out which ones are most important. I am lucky enough to have the luxury to say no (which is a social subject of its own). Maybe saying no will get easier in the future – I certainly hope so! As Steve Jobs once said: “It’s only by saying “NO” that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.”
About the author:
Kasey B. Wright is a small town, small business kind of girl with nature in her heart. She grew-up working long hours at her parents general store in amazing Joseph, Oregon – Google it, oh wait, here’s a link – visit! Really- Arts, Camping, Resort on Wallowa Lake, Mountains, 52 high lakes, Gorgeous! Enough with the free advertisement, but truly it is amazing – Google it! Now days, if not twiddling away on her iMac, painting, or mentally re-designing pretty much everything, she is outside with her family enjoying all of the adventures that lay beyond her front door (which in Missoula are abundant and basically start within a five-minute radius of her house). Her family (in order chronological order), a husband of whom she met as a freshman in college (architect – I know two designers and yes, nothing ever gets done), our dog (neurotic first child wire-haired pointing griffon), cat (shelter cat – maybe the most adjusted member of our family), and toddler twins (girl+boy) in chronological order, keep the adventure alive! Oh yah, fish too (rarely claimed).
