This Christmas, my older two children are writing their own wish-lists. In years past, I’ve asked them to simply tell me what they wished for so I could write it down quickly and start the process of searching for gifts that fit both my gift giving standards and their own desires. We’ve talked about wants versus needs and I generally follow a guideline that I saw on Pinterest once upon a time: something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. With this in mind, I collected the lists.

My daughter’s list is filled with all the desires an eight-year-old girl could dream of, primarily a “watch phone”. I smile at these extravagant requests because they remind me of how far technology has carried toys since I was a child and how similar my own list would be if I were an eight-year-old today.

When I turned to my six-year-old son’s list, I had to think a little more. He had only five items: 1) drone, 2) emoji pillow, 3) slip-n-slide, 4) fun math, and 5) more time with friends.  The first three gifts seemed pretty typical; it was the last two that caught my attention.

  1. Drone. I could have guessed at this one before I saw its placement on his list. His cousins received a drone at an early Christmas exchange and he was absolutely enthralled by it. Other than when his eyes are glued to a movie, I’ve never seen him so focused on something. This particular item is something he clearly wants, but as his mother, I look forward to giving him something that will bring him so much enjoyment.
  2. Emoji pillow. Now I’m not exactly sure what this pillow looks like and had to ask for clarification. Much to my dismay, my son would like Poop, the character voiced by Sir Patrick Stewart in the animated film that hit the big screen this past summer, in pillow form. The only redeeming quality I find in this is the fact that Sir Patrick Stewart agreed to voice Poop. If he can enjoy it, I can too. Sigh…
  3. Slip-n-Slide. My son is not much of a planner, so this forward thinking gift request was impressive. He clearly enjoyed it enough to want to look forward to it next summer. If I’m lucky, purchasing this gift will be less expensive, due to it being off-season. He may not appreciate the forethought here, but I certainly do!
  4. Fun math. I’m one of those people who thinks math worksheets are kind of fun all on their own. Numbers work well in my brain. I enjoy putting them in boxes and being able to flip the page to check my answer. There is always a right answer. My son is nearly two grade levels ahead in this particular subject and when talking to his teacher, I assumed his little gears worked like mine – right answer, wrong answer, fill in the box, and done. What his teacher told me was a surprise. He wants to use his body to learn, not a worksheet. He isn’t nearly as interested in the correct answer, as how that answer came to be. He enjoys the process by jumping, hopping, counting beans, using colors, and sometimes all at the same time. There is so much I could learn from him in his “fun math” pursuits to enjoy the process, lose the intense desire to be right, and enjoy what is waiting between the pages.
  5. More time with friends. Of all the wishes, this one tugged most at my heart. As a single mom, attending school full-time and working part-time, “time” has been on my own wish list every day. At night, I have to remind myself that the sacrificed time with my family is to make more time in the future. Time with loved ones, friends, and family alike, means saying no to something else. I’ve questioned how much time I’m willing to sacrifice now to provide for my family later. Sometimes I have to realign my priorities to savor the moments I have in the present. Taking ten or fifteen minutes to wrestle on the floor really won’t set my study time back so much that it affects my grade. Getting a “B” instead of an “A” in my most difficult classes is worth the price if it means a handful of extra moments were spent with my family. My six-year-old is learning this now. It is the one wish I can give him during the entire year.

In this season of gift giving, list making, family and added stress, I hope we can take a moment to look deeper at the gifts we desire and the gifts that others request. I’m willing to wager that we can learn something if we dig deeper and give a little more thought to the gifting process.

Merry Christmas!

About the Author:

Ashley is a born and raised Bitterrooter who regained her roots after moving back to Montana in 2014. When she isn’t planning her next great adventure with her three children, she can be found outdoors soaking up sun, water, and fresh air. Ashley has learned that life is unpredictable and the best laid plans are ones built with flexibility and passion. Her favorite planning tools are her epic lists that float in and out of drawers and counters, and her detailed agenda in Google Calendar. She has recently discovered the excitement of capturing her life in pictures and documents her foodie, outdoor, kiddie, scenic, and more spontaneous moments on Instagram. You can follow her daily adventures at httpss://www.instagram.com/reachday1/.